The decision was an easy one… mixed school. I mean, why would I want to go to a boys school? Really, what good could come of seeing just guys everyday, all day, for four whole years?! Yes! four years, not three.
The year was 2009. Atta-Mills was the president of Ghana, “pure water” cost 10 pesewas, and I’d written 10 subjects in my BECE. Come to think of it, I actually went to JSS, not JHS… darn it, I’m old.
So yeah, I went to high school for four years… four years of bitter-sweet memory-making… but I’m jumping the gun. The point is, I chose Motown because I wanted to go to school with girls (no, I’m not some “girl-gbee”), and no matter what anyone says, Motown is the best mixed school in Ghana. Yeah, I said it! Bite me!
But on the real, I knew mixed school would be the “ish”. I knew believed there was (at least statistically) a lower chance of meeting murderous seniors or sodomizing perverts on account of the gender balance. Let’s pretend for now that I was right.
Prologue
And so blissfully I entered Motown for the first time one sunny September afternoon with my dad for Freshmen’s Orientation. We drove past Guggisberg (G-berg) house and Gyamfi house to the Aggrey chapel, a beautiful building with stone walls. Come and see! I knew paa that I’d made a good decision. You see the houses I mentioned were nice oo, they gave me a nice feeling about the school, but at the chapel… 😅 Kaishh!! What had these girls been eating during the BECE break?! These were soooo not the small girls I’d gone through basic school with. I mean, let me be realistic, of course some of them were smallish, but puberty had graduated a few people. If my dad discerned the foolish reason for my excitement, he certainly didn’t show it, and I didn’t volunteer any information either… I was foolish, not crazy.
One chaplain came to speak first. He seemed pleasant. Next was the senior housemaster. His real name was soon forgotten, but his student-given name stuck like a tongue to a frozen metal saucepan: “J-Poons” it was.
“Good day, parentsh and shtudentshh. In factch, you are very fortchunate to be shelectched into thish shchool were many many many of our preshidents have been trained.” You get the point, J-Poons spoke funny. And it didn’t help… it reeeeally didn’t help, that he was dark as night. Some dared to call him names like “Anadwo” and “Dark and Lovely”. Not me. Like I said, I was foolish, not mad.
If you listened carefully though, you could hear the stifled laughter coming from different places in the chapel. Me sef, e lef small, I wanted to ROTFL. But hard guy no dey do yawa.
J-Poons ended his speech with a half-sinister smile on his face, “Remember that your parentshh will be leaving you with ushh” * dramatic pause * “We are looking forward to having you to ourshelvsh until the year two thousand and thirtcheen”. He actually mentioned the whole “two thousand and thirteen”.
Wait! What?! The sudden realization of the implications of four years in boarding school hit me so hard in the next 5 seconds. I bet I would have turned pale if I was fair. But like I said, hard guy – I played it cool. The guy sitting next to me begun to cave in under the same realization. “Mommy, I don’t want to go”, he begged his mum.
Puh-lease, “mommy???”, ma guy, ma guy, grow a pair. Is it in public that you’ll act like a kindergartner? But of course I said all this in my head… my dad knew I still called my mum “mommy”. Hehehe.
The headmistress was up next, quickly followed by her 3 assistants. A chill swept through the room. Four principals??… and nobody warned me? Chale, it’s not my fault, I just have this aversion towards school authorities. They can be really… creepy. “But no wahala”, I consoled myself, “Motown entertainment go pap”. Such a stupid mantra, right? Someone’s mantra later on was “Ahiaa, you can’t grind in Botwe.” For real, some guys set their priorities using their own twisted metrics. You’d think they think with a head different from the one that sits on their necks.
A few moments later, we were at the administration building to find out which house I’d been assigned. Aggrey House. It sounded cool, but I wouldn’t see it today, daddy my dad had somewhere to go.
Aggrey House would meet Kodzo in a week…